Chapter 1: The Yogurt Awakens In a world where the sky was permanently the color of expired ranch dressing, a lone figure stood atop the Tower of Unread Discord Messages. His name? Blorbo McSquiggles. A name that struck fear into the hearts of those who still possessed the ability to feel emotions (most had traded theirs for V-Bucks in the Great Microtransaction War of '23). Blorbo clutched the Sacred Spoon of Infinite Dairy, its surface etched with ancient TikTok hieroglyphs that read: "Live. Laugh. Lactose." "It's time," Blorbo whispered, his voice synthesized through 17 layers of auto-tune. With a dramatic flourish, he plunged the spoon into the ground. The earth trembled. The very fabric of reality glitched. And then— S P L O O S H A tidal wave of sentient yogurt erupted from the soil, screaming in a language that sounded suspiciously like a distorted Vine compilation from 2016. Chapter 2: The Algorithm Wars The yogurt was not ordinary. No, it was algorithmically optimized yogurt—designed to maximize engagement by weaponizing cringe. It spread across the land, converting all who tasted it into brainrotted husks capable only of reciting outdated memes and arguing about NFTs of cartoon apes. Blorbo watched in horror as his childhood friend, Glurb the Unhinged, took a single bite of the yogurt and immediately began screeching: "AMONG US SUS! AMONG US SUS! AMONG US—" His body pixelated, then dissolved into a cloud of emoji confetti (💀🔥🚀). Chapter 3: The Final Scroll With society collapsing into a hellscape of reaction videos and AI-generated "deep takes," Blorbo knew what he had to do. He opened the Forbidden App—the one that had been buried beneath 50,000 software updates. "Delete All." A prompt appeared: ❌ Error: Cannot delete. Your free trial of existence has expired. Please subscribe to Premium to continue. Blorbo screamed. The yogurt screamed louder. The scream became a viral ASMR track. Epilogue: The Eternal Buffer And so, the world remained frozen—forever buffering at 99%, trapped in an endless loop of autoplaying content, while a distant AI voice whispered: "Hey, you. You’re finally awake… Want to hear about our Lord and Savior, the Infinite Yogurt?" [THE END…?]